In Everyday Enchantments, I have a tribute to the joys of being an amateur and another on what it takes to truly become an expert at something. These bite-sized musings came from a lifetime of experiences that reinforced the idea that everything we do must be done To Perfection and the moments in my life that were truly awe-inspiring because I wasn’t aiming for perfect, just relishing the sheer pleasure of doing something that feels good.
As a child, I couldn’t just do ballet because I liked wearing a tutu and twirling. No, at a certain point, my teacher made it clear that I needed to Get Serious and commit to the point shoes and all the aches and pains that come with more professional dance. What a way to ruin the joy of dance for a little girl that just wants to twirl! (Thankfully, my parents were advocates of being happy amateurs in the things that brought us joy; otherwise, I’d be a wreck. But they gave me permission to immerse myself in the arts and other interests without the pressure to turn it into a profession or side hustle.)
Those issues came up later when I dove into Latin dance. I took classes simply because some of my favorite college and grad school memories were staying out late dancing with friends. Even though I knew very little about the specific dance steps, we still managed to have a good time. I decided to treat myself to dance lessons once I got full-time work, an investment meant to carve time for myself outside of my life as an educator. I was allowed to learn other things simply for the sake of learning and enjoyment.
And enjoy myself I did, as I learned that Latin dance was not just salsa or merengue but bachata, cumbia, and a variety of other equally sensuous and celebratory dances. But at some point, the pressure started: if you *really* want to learn dance, if you *really* want to be good, you need to go to class every night, dance at every social you can go to, and *really* immerse yourself in the culture. Sure, okay. Some of that is true and works well as you’re learning new skills and wanting to get comfortable on the dance floor. But the truth was that this rigidity, the idea that I must eat, breathe, and live dance, made me more self-conscious, more afraid of making mistakes, and less able to enjoy myself on the dance floor. It took me time to realize I loved to dance for the sake of moving my hips and getting my wiggles out, much like the tutu-wearing girl I once was. and there’s nothing wrong with that! In fact, there were many other casual dancers like me—people who enjoyed a turn about the dance floor without getting too caught up in the dance culture surrounding it.
And let’s be real, I like doing other things. I love finding a new recipes in the New York Times cooking section to try over the weekend. I like getting lost perusing seed catalogs and learning the best ways to start your seedlings in February. I like knitting while binge-watching shows—haphazardly making blankets that are too big with stitches that are too uneven to be considered beautiful by anyone but me or someone lucky enough to cuddle under those messily-crafted blankets with me.
I like a rousing game of bocce without using regulation-grade balls imported from Italy. I’m sure someone out there understands why they are important to a good game, but I’m not one of them. I’ve gotten back into sketching and watercolors. That’s right, I’m a hardcore doodler and love my how-to-paint kits. A professional artist, I will never be. I also love learning Spanish, listening to podcasts, watching shows, and reading literature in the language—but I doubt I’ll ever comfortably speak it. When I try to study too hard, my tongue gets tied, and the words stop flowing, as Spanish is inextricably linked to my complicated feelings about my racial and cultural background. But if I bask in my appreciation of this heritage language? Then I learn, then I enjoy, then I keep at it.
I like, in other words, taking up new pastimes and learning new ways of looking at the world. My latest hobby is joyfully ignoring the well-meaning but high-pressure people who tell me I just need to practice more at [fill in the blank] and eventually, I’ll be The Best or, at least, Very Good. How about I just enjoy what I‘m doing?
I’m also always working through graduate school traumas issues rooted in perfectionism (heaven forbid you say, do, or write anything that isn’t automatically flawless!). I like being a novice. An amateur. The person who isn’t afraid to look like a fool, make a mistake or try something new. I like that I can dance freely now, without the pressure to perfect every step, or grow some of the tastiest tomatoes without being a master gardener, or even pluck at my violin strings without fear of sounding less-than-symphony ready.
In fact, I’ve developed a profound love for doing things I’m not good at over the years. There’s magic in being like The Fool in the tarot, always open, always ready for new experiences and possibilities, focused not on a specific outcome but on the act of exploration.
This is the energy I bring to the new year: the soft, receptive magic of doing things I love loudly, happily, and with no intention of mastering any of them. What will you playfully practice this year? What delights will you devote yourself to?
Enchantment Learning & Living is an inspirational blog celebrating life’s simple pleasures, everyday mysticism, and delectable recipes that are guaranteed to stir the kitchen witch in you. If you enjoyed what you just read and believe that true magic is in the everyday, subscribe to my newsletter below for regular doses of enchantment. Want even more inspiration? Follow me on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. Here’s to a magical life!